Monday, May 9, 2011

beer craving + pregnancy = grumpy pregnant lady

I started my third trimester a few weeks ago (I'm in my 30th week now), and with it came a new craving: beer.

Now, before you get all high-and-mighty on me and start the lecturing and know-it-all diatribe about alcohol consumption during pregnancy and fetal-alcohol syndrome, yada yada yada that people LOVE to lecture on (in a total asshole sort of way), let me preface this with the fact that I am not running out and drinking a bunch of beer. But I crave it like nothing else.

During my first trimester, when I stopped drinking after finding out I was pregnant, I did miss alcohol and not having a cocktail when we went out to dinner. But I got used to it and replaced it with ice cream.

But summer has arrived and nothing sounds better than an ice cold beer, a bag of barbeque chips, and a hot dog with spicey mustard and sauerkraut.

But wait, you say, you can have the non-alcoholic beer! Problem solved! ...solved, my ass...urm, have you ever tried non-alcoholic beer? It tastes like sweaty dog-ass. Really, I have tried a lot of brands and they are all awful. I even tried non-alcoholic wine, and it tasted exactly like sparkling apple cider without the bubbles. Flat, sugary, and disgusting. Might as well drink some juice.

So a few times a week, I have been indulging myself and having half a beer. Do I feel guilty about it? No. I don't think ANY doctor would yell at me for having half a beer on a full stomach, in the course of drinking my half-gallon of water a day. And if you give me any grief about it, I will delete your comment and think badly of you. self-righteous bastard.

By the way, Pyramid's Apricot beer is my favorite. Can't wait to give birth and actually enjoy more than a little of it at a time!

2 months to go!


  1. I thought you were going to say that you tried a lot of sweaty dog ass.

  2. Thanks for this article...I feel the same way